领悟 の 歌

当初,

听着"不知不觉爱上你""对你有感觉",
发现我爱上她了,然后我们走在一起了..

之后,

她让我听"原来我最爱的人是你不是他""爱已到底",
我们更加珍惜彼此..

那时,

"Need You Now"的出现,
成为了"我们的歌"

最终,

她离开了我.."我以为""二人同行""路过的新娘""太天真""无法割舍""用情",
陪伴着我度过难捱的日子..

当下,
"不让我的眼泪陪我过夜""你走天桥,我走地下道""不值得""再见悲哀",
让我放下了,领悟了..

曾经的，我放弃你了

有时候，爱错了一个人…
痛苦了一辈子，
忘记他也用了一辈子…
恋爱时，他希望永远在一起； 现在他不爱了，就走了… 他不知道，我一直徘徊在永远的那个门口。

很多时候，你决定认真的去对待一个人，
很不辛的、
总是偏偏会遇上个没未来的人…

也许、
已经到了该学会放弃的时候了。


傻瓜， 如果想起他，相信自己；总会有不想他的一天… 傻瓜， 如果想哭了，抬头看天吧，告诉自己，这个世界还有很多你还没遇见的人… 傻瓜， 如果想再爱，别随便找个人爱，你也不希望他成为下个傻瓜… 傻瓜， 如果很累了，别伤心…还有一群好朋友等着你。 傻瓜， 如果想自残，想一想你身边最爱最疼你的人，再决定要不要。 傻瓜， 如果想回头，就回头看看吧…如果他不在你身后；放弃吧…

不该发生的感情，
怎么说都已经发生。
别去抱怨，珍惜…
是他让你成长了…
是他教会了你爱…
是他教会了你心疼的感觉；
所以谢谢他…

表傻傻等待一段已不属于你的爱情，
已经过去了；
清醒点吧！
他已经不爱了，你何必傻傻等他一辈子？ 为了等他，放弃身边原本属于你的人、 难道这样值得？ 难道这样他会认为你很伟大回头找你吗？
别傻了，
就算你自暴自弃，
就算你自残，
就算你为他付出再多…
都不会有用，
他最多只是同情你，不是爱你！ 一段爱情，说了结束就真的the end了…
挽回是没用，
如果真的那么伤心，
为什么当初不珍惜？ 难道你不知道一场爱没了的时候说什么都是没用的吗？ 如果他真的爱你，他不会离开你… 如果他真的适合你，你不会和他分手…

放弃的那段日子，也许会很难受。 但这也是为了以后可以好过点…

学会爱自己吧，傻孩子… 你不爱自己，别人也不知怎么爱你…

答应自己，放弃吧…
不要再痛苦了。


曾经的，
告诉你，
我放弃你了， 现在我会去找回曾经我放弃的全世界了…

i loved you 、lov'ed' you…
before…

copy from 爱分享

Shuay or Heng??

Today around 1715,a accident happend in my workplace..

I gantry my tt and hit a prime mover(pm),my wheel guard is totally damage..
Thing happend under my known..I dunno how does it happend until another pm driver told me that i hit a pm chasis that not suppose to stop in my gantry path..After i hit it,the pm run off..Technician come and take off the wheel guard and inform me i have to park my tt into the servicing bay..Then i go to write statement..After i finish the statement,around 2030 i go home..

Shuay is accident happend,but i don't think i got resposible on it because the pm driver can't stop at the gantry path..But i still got a bit worry i still "kena"

Heng is i can go home early..It's been a long time i never go back early..Quite happy but hopes i won't "kena" anything..

Give Birth or Abortion??

Just get a news saying that one of my friend is pregnant..But she just been dump by a asshole two days ago,by the way that asshole is my old schoolmate..He's really a jerk ass..
She's very sad but this news comes unexpectedly,nobody will think that this thing will happend in this unperfect time..When the time i heard,i'm stun until can't sleep..
She's decide to give birth the baby,using her own strength and her own effort..Really need a lot of courage to do this decision..Her's future is quite suffer but i'll support her no matter what..
What decision will u do if u was her??give birth or abortion??

你是我戒不掉的毒、但我相信…時間是解藥

读到某条短信
看到曾经我们的影子
大半夜的就哭了
因为想起你

不小心翻开电脑
看到和你一起走过的点点滴滴
控制自己不要去看
却还是看了
最后微笑的流泪

想去删除和你的聊天记录
因为过去让人疼痛
却认认真真的
重新读了一遍里面的悲欢离合
那句
"宝贝别生气了"
却已经变得陌生

告诉自己一切都已经过去了
曾经爱你
说非你不娶的人
也许当时真的是爱过的
只是时间到了缘分尽了
就别再为过去纠缠
只要记得曾经幸福过就好

第一阶段：

也许在开始的时候
你会若无其事的正常生活
别人看不出来有什么不同
吃饭、学习、工作
睡觉、看电影、大笑

其实这样的人伤的更深
总是在夜深人静的时候
一个人痛苦的挣扎

分开后
最难以忍受的时刻
就是睡觉的时候
疯一把
回去睡大觉就好了
可是
可怕的是梦见的都是你
从此
最让人害怕的时候就是睡觉
只是祈祷别再有梦里的相聚
否则现实的冰冷
让人难以接受

每天度日如年、行尸走肉
眼里的男男女女都是白骨
听不得看不得 Ta 的任何消息
却总是期待有所关联

平日的平静
却在见到他的一瞬间决堤
再也控制不住的想尽办法想挽回
却在一次次失望中
渐渐看清接受已经分开的事实

第二阶段：

是恨也好
是无奈也好
心里开始麻木平静

那些不敢想不敢碰触的回忆
再一次勇敢的拿出来面对
以为自己无法面对他的一切
一遍遍翻看曾经的视频照片日记
安慰自己曾经爱过
可越是回忆
越觉得现实中的那个人
为什么离自己那么远了

就想一个人躲着
一个人安静的蜷缩
反复回忆过去
发现自己其实付出了够多了
对自己实在太不好了

第三阶段：

自己为自己活
不是再为他活的好
他的悲欢离合
与自己一点关系都没有

再看见他的时候
已经没有了心动
再接触他的时候
已经可以泰然处之
安心的睡觉
感受到其他人对自己的关心

看到和他经历过的饭店、电影院
那些走过的城市
想起在海边留下的誓言
想起许愿庙里的虔诚祈祷
再触碰到那些不可以回避的回忆时
不会再缩起来哭

我会勇敢的面对
面对赤裸裸的付出
面对过去
无关痛痒

只是觉得
我以前和一个人一起去过这里
从此
彻底走出了他的世界

他还爱不爱我
有没有新的爱人
结没结婚都与我无关

也许
过了许久才发现
自己的真爱在下一站等着

经历失去
算是对自己的历练
有舍才有得
那些所谓的失去的人或事
其实从来你就未曾拥有过

不经意间
曾经那些照片文字礼物
都彻底被删除了

为自己的过去翻一页
只要记得
爱过就好
积极的面对未来的生活
至少没有留下遗憾

再一次听见他的名字的时候
不会眼泪夺眶而出
突然发现……
那只是一个名字了
没有任何的特别意义

Heartbreaking news..

Today i heard a news,saying that she going to marriage in this coming October..But still dunno is true or false..Although i knew it will happend soon or after but this news really effect my emotion..After i heard the news,my heart feel pain..It's been a while never feel like this..I thought that i already let it go but if i really do,how come i feel heart pain after i get the news..Should say before that i hide my pain well but this news bringing up again that pain to the surface..those memories splash out from mind..very down,hopes i can handle it well and go thru it..

April~~

More than a month never "touch" my blog..Some big things happend in these days..

Long Quan been "fire".

That day before he been "fire";me,Kim Koon & Long Quan,3 of us never sleep at that night,"lim tea" & "lim jiu" then continue to do our morning shift..
All of us very shock when received his message,saying that he's leaving us..Thing come suddenly,makes me can't sleep..He's a very nice guy..I like him,haha should say all of us like him..
All the best to Long Quan in his new job..Singapore is a small place,we'll meet again..

P.I & EBIS

April is the month that all PSA staff waiting for..Month of Bonus..
But most of the newbies(work within a year) is dissapointed,due to no P.I been given..
How about me??Last year i got 3 days of mc & a counselling..So do u'll think i have P.I??Of course not..I just have EBIS..Not what i'm been expect..Trully speak,i'm damn fuking hot..But when re-think back,i got 3 days mc & a counselling,surely don't have the P.I..I want myself to think on the good side(at least i got EBIS,rather than nothing) That's make me calm down a bit ==

Thailand

Our Alpha group is decide to having a vacation at Bangkok(Thailand) but all of them "put aeroplane" Just left me & Long Hui..If just two people go there,i think is quite boring due to Long Hui plann but to find "cho bo",i'm nt suitable..
But luckily that Beng Keong join us..25 July untill 30 July..Now we're pursuing Leong to join us..But i don't think that he'll joining us..

Future

A headache topic again..Should i take a course to study or just continue with this PSA job??My head is blew out when think this question..But still have to think..Now i really hate to do shift work(like PSA),feel damn tired when do night shift..
Now what i plan is,hold this job until next year to get the bonus..Then i'll resign and get a office job,then find a course to study..
Jing recommend me study Event Management..She say she think that course is suitable for me since i got mention to her that i got nothing interested on..I dunno what my capability is and how to discover it..

Emotion

A lot's of things splash out from my mind,makes me feel not to talk,very less conversation with other..Just want alone..
Soon is May..Hope in the coming May i can free my mind,hope that those "memories" won't splash out..


Soon ,it's been a year..